I won't get a MySpace page, but here I am starting a blog.

I called my aunt to tell her that I wrote a book. "I'm sooooo proud of you!!!" was the email reply. Proud of what? No one likes my story, scratch that... no one who is not a close friend or family member likes my story. Everyone else loves it, they are ecstatic about it. "I couldn't put it down!" She said it takes a lot of committment to write an entire book from beginning to end, and not be a 65 year retired cop. Well, she didn't say that last part, but I guess I'm trying to figure out the formula for who gets on the Oprah book club, and who leaves behind an attic full of yellow papers and manuscripts for their kids to muddle through and eventually throw away.

How frustrating is it to have a six hour daily commute, for $35k a year, at 25 years old, and never have shit, never do shit, and with only a ever dimming hope of being shit.

"I'm trying to stick to your plan, but it's hurting me now," my husband just said. I didn't know I had a plan, all I can do is what I know how to do: keep trying.

So what I want to know is, at what point do you stop sending out the same query over and over, and getting the same email rejection over and over, and just say, "this book is shit. It's time to just stick to spending half my life on the train, and getting a 2% raise every two years."

What do other people do? This is cutting it for me. It's like being on punishment for the summer and watching from your bedroom window, while all your friend play, get tans, and laugh so hard they start drooling. What are you doing? Just sitting there.

I'm ready to go play outside. I have an awesome book, and I'm ready to play with the big kids.